Writing Challenge Day 19
Going to the store is like choosing to eat Subway. We know it will be a good decision afterwards, but we never truly want to go. This trip was supposed to be a quick one, but I didn’t expect it to be so painful. The fruits lit up the store as me and my daughter walked in. As I checked out the sales, my daughter asking me for a simple request, can we get vanilla wafers? Most people would be able to say yes, but I couldn’t.
This happened to be the first time my daughter asked for something at the store. Her questions still coming as we walked through the aisle marking off what was on our list. She finally made the connection of being able to get the things off the shelf, and not in a needy way at all.
When we checked out I noticed the items of the other customers in the store. Pepsi and other name brand items filled their belts. While me and my daughter only had a few things, others had carts filled with things only I dream that I could buy. If only they knew what it was like to struggle to get a box of generic vanilla wafers, I thought to myself. I never wanted to be in this position, struggling to get by, and telling my kids no to food.
When I got to the car I was in tears of guilt and frustration. If God called us to do this why is He not providing us with food? Why couldn’t our family have a cart full of groceries rather than a few?
When my emotions passed my husband reminded me of something. In all reality we could go out and buy what Gracelyn wanted, but I didn’t because I had a choice. I decided to save the money so we could have more money going towards our bills. He said, “there’s a difference we have money to go do that, but some people don’t have a choice at all.” It reminded me even though I feel we are at our lowest, we really are not.
When we feel we are at rock bottom it’s hard to look at the good in our life. We see all the things going wrong, and all the good things happening in everyone else’s life. It’s hard to see God having our best interest when we start comparing our life to other’s. For example, I neglected to notice how God provided gas and a car to get to the store. We didn’t have to walk and we still had money to get the food we really needed. Sometimes it’s harder to notice our blessings when we are used to having the things we always want. When we continue to drive a reliable car, we don’t notice that blessing until the car breaks. Or we don’t notice the impact that someone had on our life until they are gone. What are some moments in your life where you felt defeated, or where you feel you hit rock bottom? Looking back, do you notice any blessings you had in disguise?